If you feel like you can never gain an edge on your to-do list, you aren’t alone. A 2023 survey showed that 60% of Americans believed there wasn’t enough time to complete their to-do list. Between working 40 hours a week and trying to do the chores, exercise, and take care of anything else that pops up, keeping up with friends who also have their own lives can seem like it requires months of planning.
Add on dating—which brings challenges of its own—and you may wonder where you’re supposed to find the time to meet new people, never mind maintain a healthy relationship with them. However, it is possible, so let’s dive in to see exactly how you can find the balance to sustainably, well, do it all.
Why Are Today’s Adults So Busy?
If you’re an adult in 2025, you might be wondering when life got so busy for adults. You never imagined life would be this hectic – so why does it seem like you can never catch a break?
Research in recent years has continued to point to Americans feeling busier, whether it’s references to our “crazy schedules” or the feeling that we simply don’t have enough time in the day. However, data clearly shows the amount of time we spend on housework has steadily dropped over the last hundred years (thank you, dishwashers!) and the amount of time we spend working per week has actually declined. The twentieth century also brought up a reduction in the average work week from 60 to 40 hours. We were shocked too!
So, what gives?
Journalist and neuroscientist Molly Rose Teuke explains that Americans aren’t getting busier. In fact, according to the American Time Use survey put out by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 94% of Americans age 15 or older spent an average of 4-6 hours per day on leisure activities (think TV, social media, exercising, etc). However, how we talk about busyness and sometimes idolize it as a status symbol can lead to the perception that there simply isn’t enough time.
Simply put, our sense of not having enough time often reflects a mental perception rather than our actual reality. That said, it doesn’t diminish the fact that many of us are genuinely busy, and some more so than others. Living in a society that places such a high value on busyness can be challenging in its own right. And when we feel busy, balancing a fulfilling career while maintaining important relationships and seeking an imtimate partner can seem quite difficult.
The good news is that finding balance may be easier than you initially believed. Now, let’s explore exactly how to make time for everything that’s going on in an adult’s life in a way that feels sustainable.
7 Tips for Maintaining Balance in a Relationship
Whether you’re in a romantic relationship or looking to make time to date, these seven tips will help you nurture your romantic relationships and maintain friendships as you navigate the rest of adult life.
1. Set firm boundaries around work
When spending time with someone you care about, make it a point to keep work out of the equation. Depending on who you’re with, here are some common ground rules to consider incorporating into different relationships.
- Leave your work phone at work or shut it off once the workday is over
- Don’t talk about work or set boundaries around how much you can talk about work with the other person
- Arrive at work when the workday starts and leave work when the workday ends – even if you work from home. Many people who work from home walk around the neighborhood in the morning to “arrive at work.”
- Leave the emotions of work at work; whatever happens that day stays there. Don’t project these emotions onto your personal relationships.
- Stay off of LinkedIn, your work email, and anything else that could drag you back into work when you’re around someone you care about.
These are just some ideas, but the point of setting boundaries around work is twofold: to allow you to detach from work and enjoy relaxing once the day is over and to make your company enjoyable for potential dates, romantic partners, and friends. Setting boundaries also frees up your time to look for potential partners if you’re still looking for that person.
2. Prioritize time for your friends and your romantic partner
Just like you need to set boundaries around work so it doesn’t bleed into other parts of your life, it’s essential to create structured time for activities like hanging out with your friends, going on dates, and spending time with a partner.
You only have so much leisure time and you want to make sure you’re spending that time with the people you care about (don’t lose yourself too often in social media!). Those people also have busy lives and priorities of their own, so schedule time to spend with them in advance.
Make it a point to carve time out of your schedule for the relationships you want to focus your energy on, whether that looks like little gestures here and there for friends, spending a set amount of time on dating apps, or saving a spot on your calendar for a movie night with your partner.
3. Give energy to relationships that give you energy
We can’t prioritize everyone, so who should you prioritize? Relationships are a two-way street, and relationship imbalance can lead to resentment. That’s why we always recommend giving the most energy to relationships that fill your cup. People who give as much to you as you give to them, whether they’re someone you’ve been dating for a bit or a lifelong friend, are a fantastic part of a support network and can help boost your overall well-being.
4. Communicate honestly about your needs
A crucial part of balancing the demands of adult life is being forthcoming and transparent. Your partner, your friends, and even that first date you have this Friday need to know what’s (actually) going on with you to respond appropriately. Whether you need to reschedule, would rather stay in than go out this weekend, or haven’t been heard from in months because you’re drowning in work, the people who care about you will appreciate knowing what’s happening in your life.
5. Spend time alone
This may seem counterintuitive, but spending time alone is critical to finding balance in your life as an adult and maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. When we think about our responsibilities, we often think of work, romantic relationships, social life, exercise and health, appointments we need to make or keep, and children, if we have any. Where on that list, though, is room for time with ourselves?
When we make time for ourselves, whether ten minutes in the morning or a walk during the day, we can check in with how we are without the noise of anyone else—even those we love.
Checking in with ourselves helps us gauge our moods, better understand our needs, and calibrate accordingly—and our lives are better for that time spent alone.
6. Regularly take inventory of what is (and isn’t) working
Balancing our relationships, our responsibilities, and ourselves is a work in progress. Like any work in progress, taking stock of what is and isn’t working for us is essential. Maybe we’re in a busy season of our careers right now, and dating just isn’t making the cut in terms of what we have time for. Maybe we’re in a phase of our lives as new parents, and spending time with friends every Thursday isn’t on the table right now.
Balance doesn’t mean there will always be time for everything. It means that we can acknowledge when to give more in certain areas, when to pull back in others, and when that feels right for us. The ability to do this requires regularly checking in with what’s working for us and what’s not in all areas of our lives so we can adjust accordingly.
7. Be fully present
No matter how your efforts to balance are playing out right now, be fully present in your life and the people in it. When you’re with your friends, be with them. When you’re on a first date, be invested in your date. When you’re at work, be focused on work. Being present is something we have to practice regularly, but as we cultivate the ability to focus on what – and who – is in front of us, our lives and the relationships in them become more beautiful.
Do You Need Help With Increased Balance in Your Relationships?
If you’re struggling to find balance in your relationships and feel caught between the demands of your career, caring for family, your social life, and finding time to date, you aren’t alone. It’s common to need extra support during this time. At Inspire Behavioral Health, our licensed mental health professionals help people of all ages and backgrounds navigate the difficulties of life by way of group and individual therapy, as well as through medication management. We’re here to help and can’t wait to meet you. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and discover a more balanced way of living.
