If you’ve ever used a dating app like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge, you may be familiar with the sense of overwhelm that comes with constant scrolling and swiping. When will your online matches turn into real dates?
With 53% of people under 30 reporting the use of dating websites and apps in 2024, they’re a popular choice for those looking for love or to explore their options. However, with the demands of daily life competing for our attention, it’s easy to deprioritize online dating.
So, how do you use dating apps to make the most of your online dating experience while having an enjoyable time? Let’s discuss how to turn online chats into real dates, how to enjoy those dates, and how to take care of yourself throughout the process.
Get Real Life Dates From Dating Site Activities
A big part of how to use dating apps is turning online chats into real dates by putting in effort proportional to what you want to get out. Additionally, it’s important to go into dating with an awareness of what you want. Are you ready to settle down, or are you just looking for something fun? As you seek out someone to spend this phase of your life with, it’s important to contemplate what you want so that you can avoid hurt feelings down the road.
Put effort into setting up your profile
Your profile is the first thing potential dates will see. So, make a good first impression! Your profile should shine a light on the different aspects of your personality, from hobbies to school and pets. If you have the opportunity to answer questions about yourself, take them.
If you can include important compatibility information, like religious preferences, exercise habits, or what you’re looking for, do so. Your potential matches are more likely to want to meet you if they see you’ve put time and effort into your dating profile.
And most important – be honest. Don’t lie about your interests because you think it can help you match with more people, and don’t filter or photoshop pictures of yourself. Everyone deserves a partner who likes them for who they are. And a relationship has more potential for success if rooted in common interests.
Limit scrolling
It’s easy to swipe on one of the many dating apps available for hours, just like it’s easy to get on Instagram and watch videos or scroll for hours. However, we encourage limiting your time on dating apps each day to thirty minutes.
It’s easy to swipe excessively and spend a lot of time on dating apps. However, excessive use of dating apps is correlated with lower self-esteem and increased comparison with others. So, limit your time looking for love online and take care of yourself while you wait to meet your matches by getting outdoors, engaging in your favorite hobbies, and hanging out with friends. Remember – you may meet a love interest that way too!
Have genuine conversations
You’re on a dating app to find someone to spend your time with, so show each match that you’re interested in them by asking questions about something that caught your eye in their profile or about their life.
Show a real interest in the person on the other end of the phone, and give authentic answers to questions they’re asking you. By trying to get to know your matches, you’re showing them you take their time seriously.
Take things off of the app
While a big part of how to use dating apps is having genuine conversations, make the first move and suggest meeting up after you’ve had a chance to chat. Or say YES when they ask! Refrain from letting your conversations in dating apps drag on for weeks before meeting in person. If you wait too long, your match may have moved on or been swept up in the demands of their life. Take the leap and meet up for a coffee or dinner.
“In principle, dating apps can quickly and efficiently connect people. Yet, the app architecture engages users so powerfully that the average Tinder user logs in eleven times a day and stays up to eight minutes each time, which may add up to one and a half hours per day.”
– Thomas et al., 2023
How to Stay Safe and Have Fun While Online Dating
While knowing how to use dating apps can have lots of perks – online dating can be quick and easy compared to traditional dating and gives you more options to choose from – there are also some considerations. Using the Internet for dating means we know less about the person on the other end, even if it feels like we know a lot more. Let’s talk about how to have fun and stay safe.
Tell friends where you’re going
It’s always a good idea to tell a friend where you’re going if you’re on a date with a stranger. You may also want to temporarily share your location with a friend. Whether you need someone to rescue you from a bad date or you feel unsafe, having a friend know where you are can provide peace of mind during a situation that’s putting you out of your comfort zone.
Be respectful with your date
You won’t see eye to eye with everyone you meet up with. However, everyone deserves respect and compassion. Remember, you can set a boundary without being rude. Respect for your own and other people’s personhood is the foundation of every good relationship, and there’s no better time to start than the first date.
Keep an open mind
If you meet up with someone who’s personality or likes and dislikes are drastically different from yours, give them a chance. Most couples don’t see eye-to-eye on everything. In fact, it would be alarming if they did.
Keeping an open mind allows you to learn more about different worldviews and helps you navigate relationships where there are differences of opinion. You should know your deal breakers, though. Keeping an open mind doesn’t mean letting someone run all over your core values; it means being open to compromise and new ideas.
Move on when you’re ready
Just because you went on a date with someone doesn’t mean you need to go on another one. If it wasn’t a good fit, whether there was a lack of chemistry or you simply didn’t like your date, you have no obligation to go on a second date.
Politely tell your date either in person or via text that you appreciated the date but aren’t interested in pursuing things further. The longer you stay tied up with people you aren’t interested in, the longer it will take you to find that person you can’t wait to see again. But be courtesty and consider how you want to be treated – No ghosting!!
Take Care of Yourself with Inspire Behavioral Health
Dating apps are a fantastic way to find partners for casual dating, long-term relationships, or even to build solid friendships (think Bumble BFF)! You only get out what you put in when it comes to online dating, and it’s important to focus on the end goal: actually going on some dates. Remember to exercise respect, open-mindedness, and self-care as you keep your eye on why you’re dating.
Dating can be difficult, whether you’re tired of constantly dating and not finding who you’re looking for or whether you need help to feel confident in your own skin. Reach out to friends for support and intentionally spend some time alone to recharge. Use the time you spend dating to get to know yourself better, too.
If you need more support around dating, learn more about how Inspire Behavioral Health’s licensed mental health practitioners can help you with individual therapy and group support. Contact us at Inspire Behavioral Health today.
